Oh Hellllllz No!!!!

So this past Thursday, Tasha and her friend Neema and I went to Club Avalon in South Bay on 18 and up night. I'm still on this feat to take back my undergrad life, and all the shit I missed out on, namely the partays. Dayum, I am soooooo glad that I missed out on this shit! I thought our BSP excursion to Kiddie Nights.. err, I mean City Nights was off the hinges, but what I saw on Thursday night took the cake. I have come to the conclusion that my daughters will wear burqas and if they are lucky, skirts that reach their ankles. If I were a parent of some of those chicks in the club, they would hate me, cuz I would sooo be in the cuts ready to regulate. There were chicks there wearing shit they really had no business wearing... short ass skirts, boobs almost falling out, pieces of cloth that were supposed to be tank tops. Maybe this is a sign of my old age, but dayum ladies, have a little decency. There's is a time and a place for everything, but for my kids, there will NEVER be a time and a place for that shit! I'm also pretty sure that the local drug store ran out of First Response pregnancy kits, as the way some of these folks were "dancing" I'm sure got impregnated some how. Gah!!! Me, my sister, and Neema got on the stage to do some REAL dancing, not some grinding on some other chick shit, or seeing how far I can raise my leg over some dude's head or back my ass up into his lower intestines. I saw this one chick with a short ass skirt on, halter top, doing the splits and bouncing up and down while dudes flung dollars at her. Yay! Then they had a Beyonce contest on the stage, in which the winner could get a CD and T-shirt. This one girl was poppin' her ass so hard, I could of swore she was trying out for a Luke video. Suffice to say if that was my kid, I would have done just what my mom and grandma used to do to us when we got out of line... she'd have gotten shown up, when she showed out. In other words, her ass would have gotten snatched off that stage with the quickness and dealt with, big time. More than likely, CPS would be waiting outside. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating child abuse, but I am advocating discipline and respect. The ultimate for this night was soon to come... the bikini contest! Woohoo! Ok, what the hell would I have any interest in this whatsoever? One after another, chicks pranced around on stage, thongs showing, boobs hanging out, and of course trying to out do the next by tonguing down some other chick or reaching under the other's skirt. Classy. Then the R. Kelly announcers were prompting these youngins to take off something. One chick flashed her boobs in the hopes of getting crowd response, only to get hella boos. Like Rick James "If I had four hands, I'd give those titties four thumbs down" I guess... hahaha. In the end, the winner got... brace yourselves... hang on to your seats... a whole $100!!!!!! Wow!!!! What the hell was I sitting down for, I should have entered so that I could earn me a nice crispy C-note. Dayum ladies. All in all, the three of use tried to make the best out of this experience. Aside from the countless hoes, the shady R.Kellys, countless hoes, dumb ass security guards, and did I mention countless hoes, we did manage to have some fun. We DANCED all night and poked fun at the shit that was funny, like Tash getting freaked by Kayne West and Madonna... now dat shit was funny. To top it off, we ate at Denny's which was actually pleasant this time, cuz the waiter was cool and we just kept recounting our horror at Avalon, as well as laughing at the guy Tash swears was beatin' his meat in his car seat... hey, I got skills. Despite the shitty Yahoo! maps directions (In which I still get lost in South Bay... gah!), and the lame ass folks we tried to get directions from (F*ck y'all fools at the Shell on Lawrence Express Way, y'all bitches ain't that dumb... I mean just tell me you don't wanna give me directions aside from saying "you don't even know the address of where you work"... bitches!!!), it was fun hanging out with these ladies, bumpin' East Side jams in the E. Honda. We gotta do it again some other time. As for recapturing undergrad life, I think I just might stick to catching a few Cal games here and there and live vicariously through my former Bridgees.