When the spirit catches you...

I just read a really good piece on Bill Cosby that was posted on MSN. It's pretty fair and balanced, and I think gives a view on a subject that is long over due, or has been unrecognized to say the least. It's something that I personally deal with on a day to day basis, and I'm sure others may feel the same, from one extent to another. The overarching theme being the concept of "dual personalities" if you will -- trying to play both sides of the fence to gain and/or maintain acceptance by your peers, mentors, and followers. It's funny, a few months ago a cousin of mine came to visit my fam and I. My mom tells him that I am in grad school, working towards a masters in public health. He goes, "That's fine and all, but a man ain't gonna want someone with just book smarts. He's gonna want someone that can cook too." My heart nearly sank into my stomach. What? Sometimes I wonder what peoples perceptions of me are. Especially depending on the environment. If I am amongst those of a more academic and professional setting, maybe they think I'm uneducated, some harlot of a woman with kids all over the place. I'm not exaggerating on this, because this happens. And it Sucks! I mean, just most recently, some mofo on IM responding to a comment I made about not judging a book by it's cover decided to come back with this classy retort -- "I say, don't judge a hook by her corner." Quite classy huh? How is a woman able to keep her head high when she is constantly exposed to commentary like this on a daily basis? Sometimes, I wonder if it is worse when it comes from my own people. I hear a lot of music, and it surprises me how a lot of this stuff gets airplay. I may disagree with Mr. Cosby on a lot of things, but I do agree that our young people should not be exposed to imagery like this -- but not just by video and radio play. A lot of these ideas perpetuated through verse kind of fall into the "chicken before the egg" category. It's too easy in my opinion to blame artist for the music they make. Yes, you can urge them to be more accountable for their actions, but a lot of them are reflecting where they come from. This whole issue that Mr. Cosby sights is much deeper and more personal then we all would like to see, but must be done. Finger pointing and criticizing is not going to make anything better. Some action has to be associated with it. Over the years, I feel that my own identity has been a bit lost or swirled around at the hands of my own advancement. Sometimes I'm not really sure where I fit in, or if I even have to. Just as with everything, the coin has two sides. From my own folks (i.e. family members and community members), some people think that I'm "uppity", White-washed, etc. Again, that doesn't do the esteem any bit of good. Again, how come? I guess the answers to life's questions will never come easy, huh? But I'll be damned if I don't try to figure it out -- for others, if not my own sake.