Checks and balances...

Grab a seat and a good snack... lots of mental unloading on the way....

Ay yi yi! So much in the past couple of weeks. Lots of projects at school are intensifying, major preparation for the big show coming up, submission of a progress report... this girl has had her hands full. Ordinarily, I just press on and continue doing what I gotta do. But today, I felt the weight. Physically, I was feeling craptacular... I had a bangin' headache, my back and neck were aching like crazy, and it was all I could do to keep my eyes open while I was doing my desk duty. And it was barely noon! I had to figure out some way to keep it all together, especially since I had class until 10pm later in the evening. Great.
Aside from the physical response as a result of all this stuff I gotta do, there's been quite a bit of emotional and mental strain as well. I've been encountering a lot of situations that cause me to stop, take a step outside of myself and try to see things from another angle. If you haven't done it before, I challenge you to do it. You'll definitely learn a whole a lot about yourself and your beliefs. One example of such an instance was when I was chatting with a classmate of mine about understanding the acculturation process. For a group project, my team is working on developing a program for elderly Russian-speaking newcomers that will encourage them to be physically active. Interesting. A Black woman from East Oakland developing a program for people that have not been in this country no more than 5 years, and I'm gonna try to get them to exercise??? Talk about disconnect city! I told my classmate about how I just couldn't wrap my head around what was asked of me. How I don't know what that adjustment process is like for the people I am trying to help. My friend told me this: Imagine you had to leave the US right away. All you are able to take is one suitcase, and you have to move to... let's say Italy. You don't know the language. You don't know the environment. You don't know the people. But you have no choice but to go. Now imagine that you have two kids with you. Now you have to figure out how to make away for not only yourself, but for others as well. You will do any and everything to make ends meet... bus tables, clean houses... whatever you can do to get by.
Damn, I thought... It's funny how we can empathize with others, but you can never truly know what it is like for that person until you live it. I cannot say that I can still fully understand what the acculturation process is like, but stepping out of my own box is helping me move into another place that I wasn't before.
Another situation I encountered was last week when I was visiting a place I am seeking a summer internship at. It's a cancer resource center for women, and I am looking to do some outreach with the African-American community. Anybody that knows me knows why I am so jazzed about the opportunity to work there... considering that I have far too many encounters with this particular illness. What was funny to me was this: I was waiting in the center's library to meet with the volunteer coordinator, and I swear that no less than three people stopped by to ask me if I needed any help. Man, these folks are hella helpful, I thought to myself. Then I realized: this is a cancer resource center. I am sitting in the library. What if they think I'm ill? When I thought this, I got really scared and almost broke into tears. That thought really shook me. I have seen how this illness can affect people, so I have an outsiders perspective. I know what it's like to experience loss. What it's like to see that person carry on day by day. But I don't know what life is truly like for them.
Like I said, the past few weeks have been pretty heavy. Lots to think about. I'm still all processing, which is difficult... but ultimately for the greater good.
So back to today. After loading up on Moltrin, I was able to carry on, but what has really sent me into high gear is my dialogue and class with a really amazing instructor. For the past semester, I have been working with her on ways to infuse the topic of diversity within our masters of public health curriculum. We discuss the concept of cultural competency and understanding the community, but do we truly know what it is? She brings so much of an empowering perspective... it's contagious! In class, we watched a really powerful film called "You Got To Move"... it's about the Highlander Institute, which was founded during the beginning of the Civil Rights Movement. Essentially, it was a place to help bring social justice to societies that were separate and unequal. I cannot put into words how powerful this film is, but I do recommend that you view it or research about it if you get the chance.
It's funny. What appears to initially be a problem, can turn out into a blessing. What appears to have no end insight may switch into a moment of clarity. Like I said, funny stuff. I guess in the end, we are not rigid and immovable objects that do not have the ability to flex and bend. Ultimately, there is always a fear in change or stepping out of our own shoes. But to have the courage to do so only makes you bigger and stronger. Props for that.

Quick plug for the crew...

Hey folks, just a quick plug for a performance with the FloMotion crew -- We are participating in the "Dance Mix Exposure" which will feature us, and another awesome group called BodiRock.This is a special presentation by Dance-A-Vision Entertainment and gives new groups an opportunity for some exposure. The event is taking place on Saturday, February 26, 2005 from 7:30pm-9:30pm at the Malonga Casquelourd Center for the Arts at 1428 Alice St., 2nd Floor in Studio "A" -- the phone number for Dance-A-Vision Entertainment is 510-763-5180. Adult tickets are $10 and kids are $5. Also, if you know of any dance groups that are seeking an opportunity to perform, please let me know and I can provide you with the necessary information. All the proceeds go towards keeping the doors of the center open, and to continue to empower youth with the use of art. Hope to see ya there!

V-day... bah humbug!

Dayum, that day is approaching soon. Yesterday, before leaving work my friend burcugunes told me "Happy Valentines Day." I won't see her for another week or so, so she gave me early wishes. Thanks, that made my day =) I could go on my usual V-day tirade and gripe for all the other lonesome losers out there, but I'll reserve myself... for now at least. Besides, I have class on the night of, so I won't be able to pelt those happy couples with skittles as they cuddle up to one another in the movies. Just kidding... or am I... muhahaha! Anywhos, these holidays are funny to me, well at least how people act on these days. There are some folks that wait until February 14th to tell that special someone that they love them, or show their affection for them by showering them with candies, flowers, and whatnot... actions that can be as shallow as the words associated with them. Or the folks that try to do something extra special for that someone they are interested in, only to get shot down on the day of because that person that is being pined after has made plans with someone else... talk about a stab to the heart and kick to the stomach at the same time! Hopefully, people are not waiting until February 14th to tell either that special someone, friends, and family how they feel. Those little random acts of kindness tend to be a bit more meaningful and heartfelt in a sense, and the recipient will be much more appreciative than you ever expected (or at least they should for goodness sakes!). So, happy "no need for V-day to have a reason I tell you I love and care about you" day to all the folks that are in my little circle -- including family, friends, associates, and new acquaintances. Although I won't turn down any Tiffany boxes, Sees gift certificates, or arrangements by Moe's or Ashby Flowers if you wanna swing some my way. ;)

Dope Quote...

"It is impossible to teach without the courage to love, without the courage to try a thousand times before giving in. In short, it is impossible to teach without a forged, invented, and well-though-out capacity to love."
Paulo Freire, Teachers as Cultural Workers (1998)

Quirks....

Been doin' a lot of people watching lately. Just wondering what makes relationships work and whatnot. What attracts people to one another? What makes each other tick? Why is one side in the relationship willing to compromise themselves to give the other the advantage? And I don't just mean the girlfriend/boyfriend or wifey/hubby type... but also amongst friends, family, etc. I know that the little interaction that I do see while people watching is only a taste of what goes on in their lives, but it interesting to watch none the less. For example, I was in the mall the other day milling around and came across one of those cheap calendar vendors. As I was looking, I couldn't help but ear hustle the couple's convo that was going on next to me. Apparently, the hubby picked up a calendar of pug dogs, and his lady goes, "Oh no! I am not looking at those ugly things all year long. Put that back!" Sheepishly, the guy does. Mannnnn! It's not like he picked up a calendar of bikini clad women that he was gonna hang up in the kitchen! Just some frickin' pugs! Puppy pugs at that!!! Like I said, only a small glimpse into their world. But mind you that the guy was also pushing the baby stroller, carrying the baby bag, and wifey's handbag. Bossy wife, or proof that chivalry isn't dead? Hmmm... I kinda think the former.
Ultimately, I wonder what makes a relationship "work." What is overall happiness for those that are involved? What get's compromised in the process? How much is each other willing to take and stand for? Again, not just wifey/hubby stuff, but amongst fam and homies as well. I often time think of my relationships with people as an oasis. Something that you long for dearly or have the ultimate deisre of achieving. But then I wonder, how long should you chase after these oases before you die of thirst?
Any thoughts?