Soul Searchin'...

Again while rollin’ in my car, all these thoughts flow through my head. I wish there was someone on the regular that I could share these bomb ass (or well, at least I think bomb ass ideas with). It’s not really cool to call up a homie at 2am and say “Yo, I got this sweet ass theory on the meaning of life and shit. Wanna hear it?” I’d be lucky if anyone even bothered to pick up the call. Thank goodness for blogs, eh? Yesterday I went to a baby shower for a good friend of mine. These events are always really cool, especially because I get to see some really good friends, mentors, confidants, and heroes all rolled into one. But then again, these events always raise this question for me: do soul mates really exist? Even more so, how do you know where to find one or even if there is one for you? A great deal of my friends are in really healthy relationships… which is swell no doubt, but I can’t help but feel like the odd girl out. Know what I mean? As I am becoming more and more aged, the impending doom of lonesome loserness constantly peers over my shoulder… yikes! I mean in three years I’ll be thirty for goodness sakes… which is both a long time and not such a long time. I have all these sweet ass ideas on what my family life will be like for the future – what a potential mate will be like… what I will do with and for our children. Hell, even my close friends are on the bandwagon of helping me sort out these ideas – my homegirl Ana T. is like “I can’t wait for you to get married. But don’t ask me to be in the wedding party or to speak, because I don’t want the headache.” My friend Tina even has the wedding toast all planned and shit… dayum! Or how my friend Kim with this idea of a dance filled wedding, in which the groom pop locks the ring on my finger – funny, but pretty cool idea, eh? I even have a buddy or two offering free babysitting! One thing is missing though ladies… the chico! Hook me up with that and we can do more planning… hahaha! Bleech… maybe I’m putting too much thought into this… like I’m putting the cart before the horse, so to speak. Or am I just laying down those yellow bricks on my own yellow brick road? Sometimes, I just don’t know… Any thoughts?