The Crack Maker!!!

I have come to the conclusion that Mentos are crack. They are white rocks that are hella addictive. I go through about a pack or two a day. I wonder if there is nicotine inside along with the menthol... hmmmm...

Thinkin'...

Something to wrap your head around...

- The Berkeley Marina smells like ass, so why are there folks around there? A few thoughts come to my mind, and they ain't kosher...

- If shoe size is suppose to correlate with a guys whatsawhozit, what does it mean for ladies? Boob size?

- If your a space hog in a dance class that always stands at the front, shouldn't you get better at the routine and not worse?

 

Hoe-Hop...

I'm tired of hoes. All in the videos and in the performances, in the dance classes I take. Hoes are everywhere and they are ruining it for dancers. Well, I can't fault them for everything, you know what they say, hoes gotta eat too... heehee. Sorry, couldn't pass that up. There just isn't really a great place for REAL female dancers to go. If you aren't grinding on some dude or other chick, you don't get the part. You gotta have your boobs and ass hanging all out of your outfit to get in the spotlight. And then we still have to revert back to stereotypical acts, i.e. light skinned hottie is the main chick, while the darker skinned ladies act all hoey in the background. If I wanted to persue this dance thing, is that what I would have to look forward to? I'll pass man. A friend told me that I could totally make it in an audition, because she said "I had it." I said that I couldn't, in typical fashion, but mainly for the following reasons:
- I'm thicker than the ones that usually get picked.
- You gotta be "HOT" on their standards... the fact that I am not anorexic, nor have enough Indian in my family ecludes me from that.
- I refuse to hoe myself out.
- I'm not a Timberlake clone -- I like to dance with a "worm in my back," ya know, breakin it down. I don't want to have to worry about, "Ok, is my pinky in the right position, is my knee bent in a 90 degree angle?"
So much to think about. I was watching "Made" on MTV with this girl that wanted to be a skateboarder, and her sisters were talking hip-hop classes. It's should have been a show to teach them some moves, cuz these girls SUCKED!!! They showed like these clips of them "dancing," I swear it looked like she was f#ckin the floor. What the hell? That's hip-hop? If that is, how sad man. For the hoes and for hip-hop's sake.

My sentiments exactly!

The "Peanuts" always know the answer!

 

Disturbance...

Last night, some crazy lady broke into my neighbors house around 1am. Some woman was walking up and down our block hoopin' and hollerin' about something, then wham! Glass breaks, and sounds of shit being thrown all over the place. I immediately call 911 to report the disturbance and give a description of what I could see from upstairs. I say no less than 2 minutes, like 8 cop cars come rollin' up, a fire engine, and ambulance (big ass difference from when we lived on the 8-5). They're shining their flood lights and flash lights going from yard to yard with their guns drawn... dayum! In the darkness, all you see are all black figures running back and forth, and a shout of "Put your hands up and don't move!" Holy moly! Eventually, they caught the woman and our neighbor was safe, thank God. Although her place got wrecked pretty bad, she at least got out of the house ok.

On a closely related note, our other neighbors are full of shitake mushrooms and bull tacos!!! They have this whack ass neighborhood watch, but whenever there is a crime committed in the neighborhood, their asses are the last to call 911 or try to check out what they can. I remember a few years ago, a woman was beaten and almost raped a few blocks down by this asshole that a few of us  complained about causing trouble, but other folks felt he was harmless. This F%cker was a dayum pervert, but folks would still hire him to cut their lawns and odd jobs and whatnot. Anyway, when this particular incident happened, it took neighbors half way around the corner to do anything! Thank goodness one of our neighbors at the time was a sheriff. SHE hemmed his ass up really good until the cops came to cart him away. I mean, the victim was screaming bloody murder for Christ sakes, and these jackasses turned off their porch lights and did nothing. But of course, the next day they came to our house and to the others that helped to be all nosey and shit. Thanks for nothin'!

Last night had me thinking about a social theory that was about the likelihood of helping others. How someone are more apt to do something if they are by themselves, as opposed to when they are in a group. Not to say that having a block of isolated neighbors would do the trick, but I think we can all do without the hen parties that don't do jack shit. Come on folks, if someone was posing a threat to you and your family, would you rather have some one help you out at that moment, or wait until the next day to talk about how unfortunate last night was? 

My son :) 

Know your role and shut your mouth!

The following are the roles of a female third or fifth wheel, as noted by Kat:

- Drink watcher
- Purse watcher
- Drunk tag-a-long entertainer (while your friends are kicking it with some cool guys, you get to hang around with the homie that is too drunk to remember his own name).
- Watcher of the pervos that try to cop cheap feels on your homegirl -- you note some asshole gettin' all touchy feely, your friend gives you that "help me" look, then you spring into "gurl, I got ur back action."
- Excuse for your friend(s) to not kick it with people they aren't clicking with. This is noted by, "Oh, I just want to spend some time hanging out with my homegirl," or "Oh, my girl has to work early in the morning, so we better leave."
- Cool guy judge -- if something is clicking, that extra wheel will let you know.
- Jerk-ass judge -- If homie sucks, they will let you know.
- Designated driver.
- In some instances, the spoiler -- if that extra wheel ain't having fun, or is being ignored, they will screw up everything. If you notice this, kindly pull to the side of the road, pop the trunk, and get out the spare. In other words, peace out bitchy bitcherson, and call another homegirl that isn't too far away.
- Drink getter.

I'm sure there are more, but these are just a few for now. Gotta love being the extra!

Gettin' personal...

So I have tried personal ads on-line, and have finally come to the conclusion that they suck for me. Here is what I found what guys on-line want:

- someone drop dead gorgeous
- shallow
- drop dead gorgeous
- more shallowness
- one night stand
- fulfill pervo fantasies
- fulfill ethnic fantasies
- suck the youth out of youngsters

Run the gamut and I have had them all... well, not litterally, but have come across all these types and it is so lame. Now, I just log on just for the convo, if someone wants to chat, so what... thankfully there is a blocking option if mofos start gettin' sicko. I've had 50+ write me all the way from Alaska asking for a one night stand, or maybe more. A old mofo from Massachusetts looking for an Asian or Black wife. I mean, this guy had photos from the Korean War on his profile... gah! A few weeks ago, I got dissed by some fool through IM. At first I was like, "so what?!?!" Then said something smart and blocked his ass with the quickness... oh yeah! Then it hurt, cuz coming from someone that has been made fun of for quite sometime, it doesn't get any easier. But then I was thinking, "this asshole is probably a cyclops, or could win a look-a-like contest for Lotney 'Sloth' Fratelli from The Goonies, so why am I trippin'?!?!" One of those funny, yet hurtful situations... what a conundrum. Well, I guess this whole thing works for some folks. I know some people that have done really well with their matches, but I don't know if it's for me. What is a girl to do I suppose?

I spit hot fire...

Tasty spicy food
Crazy stomach bubbling
So good, yet so bad
 

Give it a name...

Smashed a frog.
Cut the cheese
Let one go.
Poot.
Expelled air.
Flatulence.
Passed gas.
Popped a Willy.
Dropped da bomb.

All creative ways of saying FART! Me and Jennykins got into this discussion last night. In particular, about people "letting one go" in dance class. She was telling me that one time, this student that was in the front row kept shittin' on themselves, but she was sure as to a.) address it; and b.) find the correct person to direct it to. It's not like she is gonna stop class and walk around sniff to see where the poot's point of origin came from. Personally, there have been many an instance in which I have walked it to our office and I can totally tell when someone just "lit it up." It's like they think that since no one is around, they can just drop the bomb. But how do you address it? It's different when it's your folks and family, then you can call them on their shit literally. But other professionals, and aquaintances, hmmmm... I remember one time, I was talking to another tutor about something... I think student life, or something to that effect. We weren't buddy buddy or anything, just acquaintances. Anywho, we were talking one day, then all of a sudden I heard somethin'... then I smelt somethin'... homie FARTED! I knew he did it too cuz he had this look on this face like, "Dayum, why did I let it out?!?! How come I couldn't hold it?!?!" But the funny part is that he kept on talkin' like nothin' happened. Funny shiiiit. When people drop the sonic boom, it ain't cute. Only when you fart on your little cousin, or sister, now dat shit is funny.

Holy meat balls!!!

Dayyyyum!!! That's the only word to explain this

For your information...

Yet another sleepless night... gah, makes me all stiff and zombie like the next day... crud! I stayed up late last night and watched Martin... funny shiznit... heehee. Anywhos, I'm finding as a public health nut, you tend to over analyze everything, like your brain never stops, which can be good because it keeps you on top of your game, but bad because everyone will think your boring and then you have to start talking to yourself, which I'm not sure is very public health like, but I digress. It sucks how they play all them cool and thought provoking PSAs at night, when all the folks that should be seeing them are sleepin'. Like there is this one about strokes that features Sharon Stone... very jarring and poignant. Then there is the breast cancer one with Eartha Kit that gives information that many folks may not be aware of... like by the time you find the lump, the cancer may already have spread, and stress the importance of checking often and seeing a clinician for more info. One of my favorites, since I am in the tobacco world, was the ask your parent to smoke outside one, in which kids talk about how their parents are their heroes and such. Very cool. There are many PSAs that stick out in my mind as a kid... those Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints ones about telling the truth and stressing the importance of apologizing... the Just Say No ones... and on and on. Two that stick out in my head was one for Vietnam Vets about suicide prevention, which shows this man in the dark sitting in a chair talking to a counselor about how he doesn't want to live and how he still kept his gun. I'm pretty sure with the advent of injured soldiers from Iraq (those with physical, mental, and/or emotional injuries), we will see something like this again. A damn shame. Then there was the one about the kid teacher her dad to read. It sucks how as a society, we shame the folks that are trying. I personally know quite a few people that cannot read, and barely function to get by. Hella sad. I remember one time we stopped to buy some fruit from this man and his grandson in a local neighborhood. Both the grandfather and grandson couldn't count or add and my grandmother had to help them figure how much change she was supposed to get back. It sucks how today, we sweep both groups of folks, the ill and the left behind, under the rug.
On the other hand, here is what we see way too much of... anti-depressant commercials... now it's cool to say your on Paxil, or Zoloft. Those dayum labido enhances... viagra and now there is one for the ladies too... I wonder what would happen if you mixed those up? Never mind. And my favorite... the herpe med ones. Since when has it been fun to have herpes? You see this chick going out on cool dates with some hot dude, and how she can live her life with out worrying about her scorching STD. Yay! Yeap, with all this nonsense, no wonder my brain is public health 24/7.

Yo Rocky!!!

So all month on AMC, they have been playing all the Rocky's. Last night and this morning, I saw parts of I, so I rented it later to see it interrupted, cuz I'm a diva like that ;P

Anywho, here are some things I didn't realize before:
- It's actually much better than I remembered, granted the last time I saw this one, I was about 8 and it was on laser disc, so go figure.
- What happened to Rocky's folks?
- In I, he's a lot like he was in V.
- If more guys could be as sensitive as Rocky, there'd be a lot of happy Adrian's.
- Apollo is da shit! How'd he get that fro that manicured?
- Rocky was kinda hot (yeap, dat's where I am... got no action, so pining after an old movie star... yeap, I'm da shiznit!!!).

Oh Hellllllz No!!!!

So this past Thursday, Tasha and her friend Neema and I went to Club Avalon in South Bay on 18 and up night. I'm still on this feat to take back my undergrad life, and all the shit I missed out on, namely the partays. Dayum, I am soooooo glad that I missed out on this shit! I thought our BSP excursion to Kiddie Nights.. err, I mean City Nights was off the hinges, but what I saw on Thursday night took the cake. I have come to the conclusion that my daughters will wear burqas and if they are lucky, skirts that reach their ankles. If I were a parent of some of those chicks in the club, they would hate me, cuz I would sooo be in the cuts ready to regulate. There were chicks there wearing shit they really had no business wearing... short ass skirts, boobs almost falling out, pieces of cloth that were supposed to be tank tops. Maybe this is a sign of my old age, but dayum ladies, have a little decency. There's is a time and a place for everything, but for my kids, there will NEVER be a time and a place for that shit! I'm also pretty sure that the local drug store ran out of First Response pregnancy kits, as the way some of these folks were "dancing" I'm sure got impregnated some how. Gah!!! Me, my sister, and Neema got on the stage to do some REAL dancing, not some grinding on some other chick shit, or seeing how far I can raise my leg over some dude's head or back my ass up into his lower intestines. I saw this one chick with a short ass skirt on, halter top, doing the splits and bouncing up and down while dudes flung dollars at her. Yay! Then they had a Beyonce contest on the stage, in which the winner could get a CD and T-shirt. This one girl was poppin' her ass so hard, I could of swore she was trying out for a Luke video. Suffice to say if that was my kid, I would have done just what my mom and grandma used to do to us when we got out of line... she'd have gotten shown up, when she showed out. In other words, her ass would have gotten snatched off that stage with the quickness and dealt with, big time. More than likely, CPS would be waiting outside. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating child abuse, but I am advocating discipline and respect. The ultimate for this night was soon to come... the bikini contest! Woohoo! Ok, what the hell would I have any interest in this whatsoever? One after another, chicks pranced around on stage, thongs showing, boobs hanging out, and of course trying to out do the next by tonguing down some other chick or reaching under the other's skirt. Classy. Then the R. Kelly announcers were prompting these youngins to take off something. One chick flashed her boobs in the hopes of getting crowd response, only to get hella boos. Like Rick James "If I had four hands, I'd give those titties four thumbs down" I guess... hahaha. In the end, the winner got... brace yourselves... hang on to your seats... a whole $100!!!!!! Wow!!!! What the hell was I sitting down for, I should have entered so that I could earn me a nice crispy C-note. Dayum ladies. All in all, the three of use tried to make the best out of this experience. Aside from the countless hoes, the shady R.Kellys, countless hoes, dumb ass security guards, and did I mention countless hoes, we did manage to have some fun. We DANCED all night and poked fun at the shit that was funny, like Tash getting freaked by Kayne West and Madonna... now dat shit was funny. To top it off, we ate at Denny's which was actually pleasant this time, cuz the waiter was cool and we just kept recounting our horror at Avalon, as well as laughing at the guy Tash swears was beatin' his meat in his car seat... hey, I got skills. Despite the shitty Yahoo! maps directions (In which I still get lost in South Bay... gah!), and the lame ass folks we tried to get directions from (F*ck y'all fools at the Shell on Lawrence Express Way, y'all bitches ain't that dumb... I mean just tell me you don't wanna give me directions aside from saying "you don't even know the address of where you work"... bitches!!!), it was fun hanging out with these ladies, bumpin' East Side jams in the E. Honda. We gotta do it again some other time. As for recapturing undergrad life, I think I just might stick to catching a few Cal games here and there and live vicariously through my former Bridgees.

Great >(

Lots of R. Kelly's
Chicks making passes at me
Has to get better
>(

I miss old skool hip hop :(

When songs were "real"

Slick Rick - Hey Young World

From the album "The Great Adventures Of Slick Rick"

Guess who's back (3X)

Hey young world... the world is yours
Hey young world... the world is yours
Young world young world... the world is yours
Young wo ah huh huh huh urld

This rap here... it may cause concern it's
broad and deep... why don't you listen and learn
Love mean happiness... that once was strong
But due to society... even that's turned wrong
Times have changed... and it's cool to look bummy
and be a dumb dummy and disrespect your mummy
Have you forgotten... who put you on this Earth?
Who brought you up right... and who loved you since your birth?
Reward is a brainwashed kid goin wild
Young little girls already have a child
Bad company... hey, now you've been framed
Your parents are hurting... hurting and ashamed
You're ruining yourself... and your mommy can't cope
Hey, little kids don't follow these dopes
Here's a rule for the non cool... your life, don't drool
Don't be a fool like those that don't go to school
Get ahead... and accomplish things
You'll see the wonder and the joy life brings
Don't admire thieves... hey they don't admire you
Their time's limited, hardrocks too
So listen, be strong, scream whoopee-doo
Go for yours, cause dreams come true
And you'll make your mommy proud... so proud of you too
And this is a message... that the Ruler Rick threw
And it's true

"You know, you know what, you know what, you know what?
We like to party, like to party"
(repeat 3X)

Hey young world, the world is yours
Hey young world

"Yo peep this"

Hey Mr. Bigshot... hey, don't you look fly?
But you don't have a nickle... ohhhh, my my my
You've been fightin again and, you forgot why
Hey kid, walk straight, master your high
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.... because you make your family cry
And all jokes aside, are you in good health?
Hey little boy... now have you really checked yourself?
You're a disgust, you know someone that I can't trust, you'd
steal mom's welfare... and you'd run and buy some dust, and
plus, a must so... bigshot you're not
Your friends are talkin and I'm hearin that your girls are what?
You didn't know? Go steal and rob
And while you're at it... go get a suit for a j-awhh-ob
You see you're actin like this urge is demandin
C'mon, wake up... have some understandin
Society's a weak excuse for a man
It's time for the brothers... rap is trying to take the stand
Believe it or not, the Lord still shines on you deep
Guides you... and he watched you as you grew, plus
past the age of... a little child, that's true
But folks your age don't act like you do, so
so be mature... and put the point to a halt
And if you're over eighteen... I wish you'd act like an adult
Don't live in a world... of hate hate hate
Pull yourself together... and get yourself straight
Men don't steal... hey, most don't borrow
And if you smoke crack... your kids'll smoke crack tomorrow
So be more mature... and kids do your chores
Make your own money... hey, be proud that's yours
You know why, cause that's a man... that's brains no spite
Stayin out of trouble... when it comes in sight
And a man never loses a fight... in God's sight
Cause righteous laws are overdue
And this is a message that the Ruler Rick threw
And it's true

"You know, you know what, you know what, you know what?
We like to party, like to party"
(repeat 3X)

Hey young world, the world is yours
Hey young world...

"Yo peep this...
MC... Ricky... D...
The Grand Wizzard...
and his partner...
and his and his and his partner...
say what?
La-Di! Da-Di! La-Di! Da-Di! (repeat 2X)
La-Di-Da-Di..."

My Cal fam :)

Went by BSP
I miss my Cal family
BSP saved me

Much love and respect!!!

What's love got to do with it?

Yo, so what's up with this whole love/relationship thing? How do you know when it hits you? I'll never understand these relationship things, I swear. I've been single and ready to mingle for a loooong ass time, and honestly, it sucks ass!!! I don't wanna be soundin' all like I'm desperate or nothin' but just speakin' my mind. I guess for those that have been in a lot of relationships, the shoe would be on the other foot. But I can only give the perspective of a lonesome loser, who's never been in a relatioship, so here goes nothin':
I've always, and still do, have this idea of having a family some day. Our upbringing wasn't the best, but it was fun and we learned a lot. It would be cool to replicate that with my kids I guess... going to the park, teaching them to read, etc. They would also have different opportunities though, like having the chance to venture outside of the East Bay, and dare I say California, to see what the world has to offer. But in the words of my grandma, when we would pine after the toys and trips my cousins got, "If I had everything in the world, I wouldn't give it to you." So true, because such "gifts" creates unsavory personalities and behaviors, but I digress.
I dunno, I guess as you get older, these ideas tend to slap you in the face over and over again. As time slips away, you tend to kick yourself in the butt for all the missed opportunities, such as being more confident and direct, not tripping off of pleasing others and being yourself... you know, all the shy things that little "not so hot", nerdy college students go through.
As you age, you tend to say "f*ck all those mofos that dissed you in the past, cus someone may be around the corner." You can only say that for so long though, because how many corners are you gonna turn? Gah... I guess I'll never understand. Is getting my own Lloyd Dobbler too much to ask?
Any thoughts on this whole love/relationship thing? I'm all ears...

Insomnia

Can't sleep at night again
So frustrating to not sleep
Too much on my mind

Holdin' it down for da E.B.M.!

M and J are gone
To the P.I. (Philippine Islands) for a month
Have to rep solo
:(